Smartly dressed in a business suit to Elegantly dressed in a suit-salwar managing people;
Moving into meetings with an aura around her to managing daily activities at home;
Suggesting changes to business plans to suggesting what needs to be purchased for the house;
Making decisions & fighting for what’s right to making chapatis & agreeing to family requests;
Handling client problems & working out a solution to handling homework for the child & working out the next fancy-dress costume;
Redoing Power point presentations for a perfect idea pitch to the CEO to redoing home décor for showing off a spick and span home.
It’s not easy being working women juggling all the activities. To top it all, here are some more:
God provided women the power to bring a new life into the world but forgot to give them the additional time to take care of that new life.
God remembered to give women the power of love but forgot to tell others to treat her with care.
God gave women monthly cycles but forgot to delete from memory all the painful days.
The list is endless, and so are the demands for time on a working woman’s schedule. The truth is that 24 hours in a day is all we have and must do everything in that limited time. We could either blame it on God, or on society or on ourselves, or we decide to balance it all. If you are proud of being a woman, and want to learn how to balance 24 hours, so that it seems 42, to have the perfect work life balance, read on!
Work-Life balance in some respect is a misnomer, a better word for the same would be work-life prioritization. There will be days when your work needs 100% from you, and some days when your family needs you 100%. And then there will be days where it is balanced with a tolerance limit of +/-10%. A perfect balance however is created over time, when we learn prioritization of the different aspects at the right time, and with the right attitude.
My friends and colleagues have always wanted to know how I have been able to manage this. Some have even questioned the way in which I manage both my personal and professional life, some have quizzed me on the possibility of extra secret hours that I have. I wish I had those, wish I was a time traveler.
Through this blog, I am trying to share tips and tricks that I have learnt over time and recipes that have worked well for me.
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- A substitute for hard work hasn’t been found yet: In these modern times the meaning of hard work has taken a new definition, smart work, but the “WORK” part remains. Truth is, whether we want to be successful or want to have a balanced life, it does need a lot of work, believe me, IT IS A LOT OF WORK! Whether it’s in a board meeting or at home, unless we put the time and effort smartly, the result won’t be amazing. Remember the rule of 1.01 vs 0.99, doing a little bit more everyday would yield compounded results and take you closer to your dreams. It’s like having your cake and eating it too.
- Create your own boundaries for time and space: My work requires a lot of travel. There are weeks, where I am literally living out of a bag. However, there are some rules I have created to bring some semblance of normalcy into work-life on those days. When in town, I am usually the first person to be in office to maximize my work, and mostly the first person to leave the office, so that I can be at home to spend quality time with family.On days that I am traveling for work, as much as possible, travel schedules are early morning to late at night. Many women feel scared traveling late nights, but I believe a little presence of mind is all that’s needed to ensure safe travels. Keeping maps ON during travels to know about areas is a must! Company car for late night travels and trusting intuition (Only women have this) when in doubt are good tools. Once while returning home around 10 pm, when I boarded the cab, I wasn’t comfortable with the driver. I called my hubby and spoke to him in Hindi over phone telling him my whereabouts and telling him that I have sent the tracking details and would be home within 40 mins. My hubby had not picked the phone, but I continued talking for some time. It was important for me to relay this information to the driver, so that he was aware that someone is tracking him. In another incident, I got down at a known location & asked someone to pick me up from there. I still travel late nights as it helps optimize the day, and leaves space for being with the family the next day. Note: I’m saying that this is my personal preference and in no way suggesting or encouraging others to do something that they may not be comfortable with!Few other tips: Utilize commute time to finish calls, personal and professional, so that mobile is not a nuisance when at home. If not urgent, late evening or weekend phones can be answered at a convenient time or converted to WhatsApp chat, so that it doesn’t interfere with your family time.
- Communication is the key ingredient: Authentic communication is not always easy, but it is the basis for real effectiveness at work and successful relationships at home. A career defining moment for me was, when I was taking up the operations leader role, and at a time when my daughter was just 3 months. During the interview itself, I made it absolutely clear that I would need to go home every day for lunch for about 2 hrs. I would not be able to travel for ~6 months and might need to work from home on some days. The manager agreed and asked me to create a 30-60-90 days plan and ensure no slippages. This communication helped set clear expectations, and each one of us delivered on our promises. Ever since, whenever there are role changes, an earnest communication has helped me calibrate work expectations.The same spirit is followed at home, where quality conversations with my spouse have helped navigate through the most difficult of times. If it wasn’t for the support of my husband, I wouldn’t have been in this position at work nor would have been writing this blog. He agreed to relocate when I found a good opportunity in a different city. He agrees to take care of our home and our daughter when I am traveling, sometimes for more than a week, and sometimes every alternate day. Evening walks, exercising together, shopping or even WhatsApp chat, there are so many opportunities that can be utilized for heart to heart conversations, to develop a deeper understanding and mutual respect for each other’s work.Colleagues and friends always provide a shoulder to lean on, but we should build the atmosphere by having honest communication and you will be surprised to see help coming from unknown areas.
- Learn the art of saying “NO”: let’s accept that superwomen are present only in the magical movie world. In the real world, women need to adapt to the idea of trade-offs. All of us are dealing at their own level, different constraints, that is life. Attempting to maximize our usefulness based on parameters like career, kids, relationships, etc., and doing our best to allocate time to all these resources is what differentiates us from others who are also running the same race.Therefore, on days when something is already planned for, saying yes to more work or activities would not only lead to more stress, but also to flawed work output. Imagine agreeing to attend a conference on a day, when it also happens to be your child’s annual day. Or preparing for a presentation, when an evening out was already planned with family. In both cases the work output would be impacted, as the mind is not 100% present in each of the activities at that time. Serenity would have prevailed if the conference could have been attended by someone else or the outing postponed by a day. Hence, saying NO at the right time, planning for an alternative and distinguishing the difference between urgent and important is an art that needs to be mastered overtime to reduce stress. A word of caution, a NO should always be followed by an alternative and overindulgence in the same should be refrained.
- Find a Genie – a real one: We have not been fortunate enough to have a genie in our lives, one who would say “your wish is my command, master”. But can we create one? One to whom we could outsource some work that we consider non-essential or work that is not as important to realize the bigger dream that we have for ourselves. Cleaning the house so that no-one can even spot a dust particle, washing clothes, washing utensils, picking fresh fruits & veggies, cooking all three meals, hot and with variety in each – it’s time we learn both, the art of outsourcing and the art of letting go. The benefits are manifold, from more time for family to time for exercise and relaxation. But getting the right help just like any other resource also requires hard work.Initially, you will be required to spend time supervising/training, but the benefits on this time investment is huge. In the corporate world, we all have heard the word “delegate”, it’s time we apply those principles to our homes. Find your genie and declutter your lives. My genie at home is my maid, who stays with us and pretty much does all the work at home, so that I can focus on things that really matter to me. My genie at office are my colleagues with whom I have built relationships to manage those distressing moments.
- No excuses, please: Men are from Mars and women from Venus. Let’s’ accept we are wired differently; our brains work differently and so are our strengths and weaknesses. However, underestimating this fact is a recipe for failure. The most common excuse of stomach ache is way overused. Have we ever canceled a picnic or a trip, just because our hormones are behaving differently on those days? Then why use it as an excuse to skip work? All of us have those tough days, and it’s totally understandable, but there are remedies available which help ease things. You must be wondering why we are talking about this in work-life balance? Truth is, if we stop making excuses for predictable, controllable days, then for those erratic times when you need to attend the annual day of your child or need to take off as your hubby is sick, it would be a lot easier. The bosses and colleagues around would know it’s a genuine ask. Moreover, even if at home when someone is sick, the family doesn’t need you 100% & hence you can always finish remaining work and earn more brownie points for yourself. Bosses these days, want work done, irrespective of where & when it’s being done from. The moment you own this, striving balance would become easier, as you are your own boss and you can divide time between work & personal demands more efficiently.
- ME time is not a fad: There’s nothing harder than finding time in your busy day for yourself. However, unless you pamper yourself with some ME time (for your own hobby or gym or relaxation), exhaustion is bound to set in. This is an area where most of us compromise and give up our own goals or hobbies due to lack of time. Instead of giving up goals, rethinking time is a solution. The secret is to create “Multipliers”—activities that help fulfill multiple goals at the same time. Here are some examples:
- Fit in your exercise schedule during the time your child is busy at one of the activity classes
- Carry your shoes along and walk whenever time permits, to stay fit. It’s easy to clock in almost 5000 steps through walking, while waiting at the airport
- Read your favorite book while asking your child to read theirs
- Joining the same activity as dance, tennis, badminton or painting along with the child or spouse will not only help you bond together better, but also provide you the time to let your creativity flow.
This may sound difficult but not impossible, with a little planning you can do twice as much!
- Passion is the secret sauce: Be it success in your profession or harmony at home, passion for both is what will bring in balance. We can all feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites us. This power is the passion, and when repeated over time, it gives us the endless energy to work & balance both sides of our world. Scientifically also, Energy = Power*Time. If we replace the power with the passion and continue following our passion both for work and family, we would get the energy to balance both over time. Passion is the secret sauce which distinguishes moderate from excellent. So, keep that fire burning within your belly!Last but not the least, be ready to experiment. Discover the potion that works best for you to bring in harmony in your work & personal life. Take risks, calculated ones which will be both rewarding and, ultimately, empowering. Most importantly, do not forget to applaud yourself and give yourself credit for managing both sides equally well. Always remember, you have within you the strength, patience, and passion to reach for the stars to change the world. So, it’s time we stop wishing and start doing!
- A substitute for hard work hasn’t been found yet: In these modern times the meaning of hard work has taken a new definition, smart work, but the “WORK” part remains. Truth is, whether we want to be successful or want to have a balanced life, it does need a lot of work, believe me, IT IS A LOT OF WORK! Whether it’s in a board meeting or at home, unless we put the time and effort smartly, the result won’t be amazing. Remember the rule of 1.01 vs 0.99, doing a little bit more everyday would yield compounded results and take you closer to your dreams. It’s like having your cake and eating it too.
